My Magical Cure
I tend to heavily focus on the details because it is easier than admitting where I am wrong, where I have failed. Dissecting, blaming, and eliminating are so much easier when done on a minor scale that there is very little resistance when it comes to changing the message. That fear of moving forward and actually completing the project are put on the back burner, because ‘LOOK DISTRACTION’. That is all small details are to me, distractions from the end game.
One of the largest areas that I major in the minors is programming my own powerlifting programs. My end goal here is to be as strong as I possibly can, without regard to how my body feels (sorry mom). I have spent days and weeks attempting to pour over the smallest information pertaining to percentages, rep schemes, and form instead of actually implementing the training ideas from the team, some of the strongest, most well informed lifters on the planet. While I should be focusing on the main lifts I regularly put more effort into the accessory movements, that won't really form the base of my technique and confidence under the bar. It has taken a lot of gentle (Jeff calling me out on my BS) coaxing for me to admit my (numerous) faults and listen to someone else. Before when I was programming myself I could hide behind large rep schemes, random styles of squats and any other possible variation in my training as to why I wasn’t advancing. Recently though, I have given the reigns (Not Roman Reigns, though he seems like a solid guy) over to a teammate and am now trusting him so I don’t major in things that don’t matter. If I ask a stupid question I get told it is stupid and we move on. There have been awesome gains in the last few weeks that I haven’t seen in a while and I am eternally grateful for his help and advice through all of this.
An example that a different crowd may be able to reference is my job. I operate (at the time of this article, so who knows after this) a personal training business and have run into the issue of growing beyond my current client base. While I have been able to maintain many wonderful people longer than other personal trainers I know, I haven’t seen growth that is sustainable to my livelihood. The biggest thing holding me back is overthinking simple marketing plans that other trainers have implemented because I want to believe that I am bringing something absolutely breathtaking to the table. I have spent hours just lying in my bed, staring at my eggshell ceiling during the witching hours imagining what it would be like to have a stable income. And since I like to see myself as that ‘special snowflake, I have naturally spent even more hours gazing at that same ceiling pretending I could advertise better. There have been thoughts of fantastical offers (buy one get a million free), daring schemes (who knows, a bootcamp in a park might draw people in), and even ways to steal a plane, attach a MoreHealth banner to it and fly around trolling the skies for possible winners. I wanted to find the ‘perfect and best’ method for me. This form of cowardice isn’t getting me anywhere and I now have to put my dream on the coat rack so I can stay out of debtor’s prison without having to sit on the street corner begging for bread.
The only viable solution to this problem is a permanent shift in my mentality, the way I approach life, business and my passions. It is going to be a slow process because I didn’t transform into this person overnight, this has been a lifetime of distraction and misplaced focus. As time ticks further along, I am only going to continue hurting myself without taking that plunge to the majors from the minors. One day I hope that I am able to follow my dreams and support myself without having the dream of following my dreams and supporting myself without having to rely on others, but the first step is going to be finding that spell.